A new year full of new beginnings

New beginnings, a new year.

My father and stepmother begin the year in their home in North Florida year-round for the first time, as their New York home is on the market. Erin begins anew with her recent promotion at work. And not yet in the Marine Corps for two years, Daniel will be getting his promotion this month (if there are no glitches -- ha!). Daughter-in-law Ashley goes back to school this month, and my husband and I hope to see more of his daughter, Tara, in the coming months.

What are my plans? Hmmm....get thinner, richer, younger, prettier, happier? Naw, I’m gonna go with being more satisfied with what I have and stop stressing out about things I have no control over. Sounds like a decent plan.

The next three days, I will have my cell phone with me everywhere I go, as an e-mail from Daniel let me know he may be in port soon. Last night, I was looking through the images stored on my computer, and I came across one that is just the epitome of happiness. Looking at it, I dare you not to smile. That’s what I’m going to do more of this year, and it’s my wish for all of us.

Happy New Year!

Tiffany

Christmas unwrapped -- here and overseas

Christmas came to six Marines on a ship. It didn’t come in the traditional manner, but it did come.

Two boxes (meant to get to Daniel for Thanksgiving!) and a surprise Christmas box from the kind folks at the Cortez Road Baptist Church made six young men’s Christmas Day one of gorging on Milano cookies and other goodies as they decorated the cockpit of one of the "birds" with a string of lights. They set up a small tree from the church in their shop and ate just about everything. Not very healthy, but ultimately satisfying, said Daniel in an e-mail.

Our Christmas Eve, spent around a firepit in the back yard munching on S'mores and enjoying a few beers (they DO go well together) was overshadowed by the discomfort of knowing Daniel and who knows how many active-duty and deployed troops around the world were away from their homes and loved ones.

When Daniel’s e-mail came late that night describing his celebration, a little knot of tension in the pit of my stomach unraveled. I went to bed, saying a prayer of thanks as I drifted off to sleep.

This morning the garbage cans all along our street are stuffed full of the remains of Christmas. The leftover ham, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole are teetering precariously in the fridge, and the Christmas tree will probably drop every needle at once if bumped one more time by the dogs.

I can’t help wondering where all those boxes are that I sent weeks ago, along with the one from the Marine Moms. I suppose it doesn’t really matter when he gets them. When he does, there will be a celebration. They’ll eat almost everything and maybe feel a little ill. But they can take it -- they’re Marines.

Tiffany

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A story I read yesterday in the Marine Corps Times gives information about a new booklet available to “help wounded warriors and their families navigate the bureaucracy to get the benefits they have earned,” written by Karen Jowers of the Military Times. The booklet can be downloaded for free at http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org and http://www.fallenheroesfund.org.

I want to thank the Cortez Baptist Church for their kind actions that make our deployed soldiers and Marines feel loved and missed. Thank you!

Military moms and dads say...

Marine Mom Lynn Ramsey sent these photos of her son and his wife:
Cpl. Jonathan Ramsey (USMC) of Bradenton is serving in Afghanistan and we miss him this holiday. The pictures are his self-portrait, and a message from his wife Melissa. Jon hopes to return soon to Camp LeJeune, NC.



Florida Navy Mom Peggy with her two Navy sons, Justin and Rocky, who flew home to share Christmas with their family.

My Christmas wish to you

While searching desperately for something I haven’t read already at a local bookstore, I came across a book in the humor section by Kevin Smith:"My Boring-Ass Life." I had to buy it -- Daniel is a huge fan. This book is something Daniel will really enjoy. I grabbed it, knowing full well that it will probably be months before he’ll get his hands on it.

The bookstore was a madhouse of last-minute Christmas shoppers. As Christmas approaches, I usually try to have everything I need at home so I don’t have to venture out into the crazy traffic parking lot that Bradenton becomes. I like to hunker down with a good book by the tree, scratching the dogs from time to time as they nuzzle my hand with their noses.

As I look back over this year, so much has changed. Daniel has gotten married, moved to California, been deployed. His sister, Erin, has had her own apartment and been working at the courthouse for almost a year now. All good stuff, and I am so proud of my children. But I secretly wish they were still little sometimes. They needed more hugs back then, more advice that they could ignore. Rides to friends’ houses, a referee for their knockdown drag-out sibling wars.

They do still need me from time to time, and for that I am so grateful. There is nothing better in this world than to know you are loved. I hope Erin, here in town, and Daniel, far-off somewhere, know how much they are loved.

My Christmas wish is for all the military families: to be able to tell their loved ones that they love and miss them, and to hear it in return.

Tiffany
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Tomorrow I will post the Christmas photo here, and it will run in the Local section of Monday's Bradenton Herald. Merry Christmas!

Their stories frame our world

“I'm wore the heck out. I went swimming in the ___ Ocean, went on a mission and then worked late. I’m tired and bleh.” -- Daniel in his last e-mail.

I was pondering how on earth one goes swimming from the deck of a ship in the middle of an ocean when daughter-in-law Ashley filled in the holes from her e-mail. Sometimes our letters are like those necklaces where you don’t know what the two halves are until you hold them next to each other. The ship Daniel is on has these huge doors at water-level where small boats and amphibious vehicles enter and exit. For a treat, they opened them up for a while and let the Marines swim; they even had a lifeguard! Daniel said the waves created by the huge doors were amazing.

I am always surprised by the vast range of experiences encountered by those living and working in the military. I hear stories from other parents about terrifying close calls -- stories that leave me speechless with fear. Some work away from the "battlefield," though not always away from harm. Some work with languages, drive vehicles, keep communications going -- each and every one is completely different.

In the Marines, it doesn’t matter what you do, "every Marine is a rifleman." I am so thankful that Daniel has been well-trained and provided with the skills to stay safe -- I pray. I’m not one of those who doesn’t listen to the news or read articles about the battles our sons and daughters are fighting every day. My personal passion is telling stories through photographs. I live to share those stories, I live to hear those stories. But I’m not so naive as to think everything I read is just a good story.

There are people behind those stories -- wives, husbands, children who are affected by events around the world which require the support and might of our military forces. Our troops, right now, are in places we don’t usually think of every day, providing emergency disaster relief and medical services. Some are on missions of good will, or maintaining the status quo between countries. It’s daunting to think of all the places in the world our children are scattered right now.

As Ashley and I finished up a class at the YMCA a couple of days ago, a man’s voice came from the speakers. It sounded like a soldier on the phone, and he was reassuring his family that he’d be home for Christmas. When the song started, Ashley and I quickly looked away from each other with a small laugh to wipe a couple of tears. For a lot of military families, it’s more than the lyrics of a song.

Our loved one will be home for Christmas only in our dreams.

Tiffany
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-- Congratulations to Mary Ann Johnson, who recently went to Parris Island to pick up her newly graduated Marine, PFC Alex Provost.

-- Manatee Operation Troop Support could use classes, clubs or groups to adopt a soldier or provide support. Contact Mr. C at (941) 744-6245 or comkowyj@fc.manatee.k12.fl.us

-- On Monday, I'll post the group Christmas photo and any other Christmas photos I receive along with any families' Christmas wishes for their military loved one. Send your photos to ttompkins@bradenton.com

Marine Mom Roni Carrington sent in a few photos for today. This photo is Marine Sgt. Daniel Brooks on a shopping spree with local Marine Moms for Toys for Tots:


Manatee Marine Dads:


A group photo of Marine families at the Doughertys:

This picture will send a thousand wishes

“Hi, I’m Bob,” said a bearded man with an easy smile and an outstretched hand as I opened the front door of the Bradenton Herald yesterday. I was waiting for military families to show up for the Christmas photo, and I wasn’t sure if Bob was there for the photo or to drop off a classified ad.

He was there for the photo. Slowly, the entranceway filled with people. Some were so familiar... ”Aren’t you a teacher?” No, she worked at the post office on 75th Street and processes a lot of Mr. C’s soldier care packages. She’s probably sent a few of Daniel’s boxes as well. Another face I recognized from the framed photo she held and the tall young man by her side: Navy Mom Sandee McDonald -- oh, I know her. She works at the downtown firehouse!

Marine Moms were there, Semper Fidelis of course, most with Marine Dads in tow. One baby, the child of a deployed soldier, cried as I approached. A Navy Mom laughed and joked, “Probably scared of the the gung-ho Marine Mom!” As I looked around I saw folks introducing themselves, sharing about their loved one who wasn’t there.

“My son is in Yuma, Arizona. He’ll be in Iraq soon...” A reverent mix of fear and pride could be heard in their voices, the love for their son, daughter or husband evident.

A couple of minutes after 11, Marine Mom Teresa took control and corralled the group together. As I perched on the ladder trying to see if everyone was in place, a voice started to sing. “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...” The others quickly joined in as I fired off a few frames. Herald photographer and good friend Paul Videla took my camera for a moment so I could have a photo with me in it. Then we were done.

Next week, Christmas Eve, I’ll post the photo. Hopefully, Roni’s son Lance in Iraq and Sandee’s son Micah somewhere on a ship and Bob’s grandson in Yuma and all the others not with us can log on and see how much we all love them, miss them, and thank them.

Tiffany
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If you have a Christmas photo and message you’d like me to post on Christmas Eve, please send it to me, I’d be happy to post it. Ttompkins@bradenton.com.

Navy Mom Peggy sent me this photo of her son, Justin, a few days ago. She couldn’t be with us yesterday for the photo because she was picking him up at the airport. She will have both her Navy sons home for Christmas! Here’s what she says about the photo:

Justin is the one with his arms crossed. This was taken on an Iraqi oil platform, which isn't anything like I imagined. I pictured an oil platform to look like the big oil rigs I've seen in photos. Not at all. Especially the one he was on. The one he lived on for three or four months was severely damaged from the Gulf War. It was very rusty and had large holes (from the war). Their job was to help protect it, and to teach the Iraqis how to protect it. The heat there during the summer was 120 degrees. The fellow in the T-shirt in the picture would serve them food. He was the one who wanted a photo with everyone. He would serve them ice cream every day. And because it was such a treat in his own country, it would have been considered rude for them to refuse the ice cream.


And Navy Mom Sandee McDonald sent this of her son, Micah, on the ship’s flight deck. He’s fourth from the right in green. “Semper Fortis”

'Tis the season to be a bit silly

I think I got run over by a reindeer.

At least I felt like that last night as I was waiting for a batch of cookies to come out of the oven and my husband thought he’d be funny and create some cookie shapes -- which would be funny if you were 12. I ended up giving him his own batch of dough and let him go to town. That's exactly what I used to do with the kids when they were little. I should be grateful for silliness in the house, but it’s hard to be appreciative after a long day of work and news from the vet that one of your dogs is incontinent. What can you do...

Elbow-deep in shortbread dough, I told Truman, our "grampa" dog, for the umpteenth time to stop licking the floor and tried to shoo him out. He pretends to be deaf when it suits him, which I think he learned from my husband.

In the midst of all this, daughter-in-law Ashley let out a squeal of delight as she logged onto the computer and discovered a whole batch of e-mails from Daniel. She read them to us, with some long stretches of silence as she edited out the mushy, private stuff. He’s working hard from sunup to sundown, she read, and still hasn’t gotten any mail. He’s hot, he’s tired, but he feels good.

As I cleaned up the kitchen a bit later, I realized I’d slipped out of my "super-moto mom" training regimen. That’s what I call it when I get up at 5, put on my USMC sweats that Daniel got me, and run with my iPod that’s stuffed with Marine Corps cadences. Running while serenaded by Marines yelling "your Mama don’t wear no drawers" is an experience like none other. It sort of makes you feel like smearing mud on your face and scaling a wall. But what it really does is makes me feel close to Daniel. Silly, but close.

So that’s exactly what I did this morning, and I do feel better. Not quite like a Marine, but certainly like a Marine Mom.

Tiffany
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Don’t forget to come out this Saturday morning to gather ‘round the Christmas tree at the Bradenton Herald for a Christmas photo, which I will post on the day before Christmas. Moms and Dads of military kids -- deployed or not -- are welcome. If you can’t be here, e-mail me your Christmas photo and I will post it.

Saturday, Dec. 15
Meet at 10:45 for 11 a.m. photo
102 Manatee Ave. W
Bradenton
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Florida Navy Mom Peggy sent this photo of one of her two Navy sons and promises to send a picture soon of her other son, Justin:

This is my son STGC (SW) J. "Rocky" Aliotta. He made Chief Petty Officer this year and we are so proud of him. The picture is with his wife, Perla, at the Chief induction ceremony.


Marine Mom Kathy O’Connell sent this handsome graduation photo of her son, John Scheiding:


And teacher and Army Mom Holly Oler sent photos of her son, Brad, who is stationed in Iraq. He recently returned for a short visit for his grandmother’s funeral. Here are Holly's thoughts:

Brad is with the U.S. Army... He was just home for his grandmother's funeral... We had to say goodbye to him again this past Sunday. It was hard, but I'm sure you know those feelings all too well.

I am a fifth-grade teacher at Moody Elementary. Jim Comkowycz has been a comfort to me over this past few months. My son has been in Iraq since last March... Unfortunately he had to come home at such a sad time. My mom helped me raise two young teenagers so that I could attend University full time for my B.A., then she stayed on so I could get my Master's in reading. So my mom was their mom, too. I was just thrilled he could be here with us.

Sharing stories, family style

Several of you have informed me that Daniel is wearing a Mortal Kombat costume, not a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume, in last Sunday‘s post. How, you may wonder, could I get that wrong when I made the costume? Well, the details may get fuzzy, but the feelings never fade. I can recall, exactly, how proud Daniel was that evening...

In our family, we are all storytellers. We love them. The kids love to tell one about me that drives me nuts -- I’ll be in a bad mood for a while after they bring it up, but it tickles them to death. It’s endlessly amusing for them to gang up and tell a story about me doing or saying something kooky. “Hey Daniel, do you remember when we were driving to North Carolina in the middle of the night...” Laughing deliriously, one will interject details the other left out. Embellishments occur and retaliatory stories are told. It’s all good fun.

Then there are the classic, defining stories. Sometimes, a back-story will emerge years later. Daniel had a girlfriend when he was in elementary school -- at that age, it was more of a buddy situation. Anyhow, I thought it was so cute. Daniel went to her house sometimes, and they were good friends. Daniel only recently told me that his relationship was the result of a friend’s prank. Someone handed Daniel a note, supposedly from the little girl, that asked, “Do you want to be my boyfriend? Check yes or no." He checked yes. She didn’t send the note, but they "dated" for two years and formed a strong friendship for longer. He’s a loyal and caring friend.

That story, to me, defines an aspect of his character that fills me with motherly pride. There are many stories about my kids I could share with you… oh, the stories I could tell. But I love my kids, and some stories are just for the family.

To change tack a bit, I am stressing out a bit because the packages I sent Daniel on Nov. 14 still have not reached him. The post office cannot track them once they enter the mysterious realm of the military. I will cry if his Christmas packages don’t get there! The Marine Moms and Mr. C sent him a box as well; maybe one of those will navigate the maze of Marine Corps mail. He keeps reassuring me that it doesn’t matter, but it does -- to me. I will feel I have utterly failed as a mother if my son doesn’t have something to open on Christmas morning.

Which got me to thinking… I would love for all the military sons and daughters to have a gift from their moms on Christmas. I would like to invite all the military moms and dads to meet at the Bradenton Herald for a photo together around our Christmas tree and I will post it the day before Christmas.(The other side of the world is several hours ahead of us, so a day early for us would be on time for those who are deployed.) That way, our sons and daughters with Internet access can have a small gift -- the knowledge that their parents, and other parents, love them, miss them, and support them on Christmas Day, on every day.

Let’s meet at 10:45 a.m. Saturday, Dec. 15, at the Bradenton Herald for a photo. You can wear a Santa hat, or hold a small sign or flag or whatever you like. I will post the photo, and if you want a copy for yourself, e-mail me later and I will forward it to you. If it’s impossible for you to get here, feel free to send me a Christmas picture of your own, and I will post it. Let’s do it!

Bradenton Herald
102 Manatee Ave. W
Bradenton 34205

Tiffany
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In a newsletter received from Manatee’s Operation Troop Support and Mr. C, the following ‘help needed” items were listed:

A babysitter for a 5- and 8-year-old so their mother, the wife of a deployed soldier, can do her Christmas shopping.

All kinds of magazines for care packages, as well as fun trinkets, toys, puzzles etc.

If you can help, e-mail Mr. C at comkowyj@fc.manatee.k12.fl.us or call 941-744-6245.

Thanking an angel

Missing someone is a lot like trying not to notice a splinter in your foot. Every now and then, you have to pull your shoe off and poke at it, making it hurt a bit more, then put your shoe back on and try to ignore it some more.

While we hope and pray to talk to our sons and daughters, those short phone calls and e-mails can be a double-edged sword. They may be soothing for a time, or ambiguous, leaving you with a sense of something left unsaid or misunderstood. Then you have to wait for the next call, the next e-mail, for clarification or reassurance.

While shopping for Chrismas trees Sunday, I got a call from someone full of wonderful surprises. One of the Marine Moms had mentioned something about him, but I didn’t really understand how much this man does until speaking with him. He is a special education teacher at King Middle School whose son is a wounded warrior. Jim Comkowycz of Manatee's Operation Troop Support -- known as Mr. C -- started to explain what he does for soldiers, Marines and their families. I kept listening throughout the choosing, trussing and loading of our tree into the back of the truck.

I thought he sent care packages to soldiers, and he does. But he also links soldiers with classes of elementary school students who "adopt" them. And he links families of military with people in the community who provide services like tutoring, or karate classes or something else which may provide support.

Mr. C was getting on a plane, so he had to cut our phone call short, but there was no ambiguity to this call. He’s an angel.

The next time I got to speak with Daniel on the phone, I told him about Mr. C. Daniel was touched. Every time I tell him about the kindness of folks here at home towards the troops, it really chokes him up. He is so surprised by people whose lives are made up of selfless acts.

What motivates people like Mr. C to work so hard for people he doesn’t even know? I’m not sure, but I am grateful for him and others like him who fill us with wonder and delight when they drop into our lives. There are many in our community who live their lives for others. Some, like firefighters and charity workers, are acknowledged; others -- people like Mr. C -- need to be acknowledged more.

Thank you, Mr. C.

If any soldier or family member needs help, he would love to try to coordinate resources. His cell number is 941-744-6245.

Tiffany
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Florida Navy mom Angie Rowland says this about her daughter and son-in-law:
This is my daughter Tiffany Rowland Kincade and her husband Daniel Kincade, both United States Navy. Tiffany is now a former Petty Officer 1st class and Daniel is currently enjoying shore duty. They have a home in Whidby Island, Wa.

Defining liberty because we can

Liberty.

The word elicits strong emotions in me. I think of battles fought to achieve it, and battles fought to keep it. The Statue of Liberty, the Liberty Bell, sacrifices made, Toby Keith’s angry American -- all of these fill my head when I hear the word.

To a group of very young Marines who have been on a ship for a month, liberty means something entirely different.

“Don’t worry Mom, I didn’t get any tattoos” -- that was Daniel's e-mailed assurance. But he did eat some meals consisting of things not available at Publix or any other grocery store in Bradenton. Daniel has always been a culinary adventurer; during a summer spent in Denmark, Daniel was always eating something strange.

So now a new kind of worry sets in. Instead of thinking of where he may be going, for the next few days I can worry about food poisoning other dangers in a foreign land. OK, it's ridiculous. He’s a Marine. He has been trained in combat and survival and all sorts of other things. I just hope he can figure out how to call home.

Tiffany
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Since I didn't receive any photos from military parents in the past couple of days, I will share these two from my scrapbooks.

(And please continue to share photos of your enlisted son or daughter. E-mail them along with a bio or personal insight to TTompkins@bradenton.com, along with a phone number I can call to verify your information.)

Here is Daniel in his teenage mutant ninja turtle costume that he absolutely begged me to make for Halloween when he was about 7 or 8:


Every year when the kids were little, Daniel and Erin’s father would take them to the MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa for the air show, which is where Daniel probably picked up his love of aircraft. I think they are about 4 and 5 years old in this photo: